you tell me i dont know! leave me alone!
by fox970
Summary: as the team becomes incredibly bored many unusual things happen. many many stupid things happen without reason. and the goofy goobers will enslave the world, or falco's mind at least. READ IT NOW! b4 the goofy goobers get you too. new chapter up!
1. Chapter 1

Discloser: I do not own Starfox or anything else I mention in my rant of insanity (its not crazy at first, but give it time)

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Fox became bored one day and started counting seconds. "Man, Fox you are so lame counting seconds." Said Falco whose insults are getting more and more stupid as the days go by.

Krystal walks into the room with a turnip and threw it at fox. Fox calmly said "Krys what'd I tell you: food is for eating not… mmmmmm a turnip…" fox took the turnip and walked away eating.

Later that night…

Fox was sleepwalking down the hall as usual; he accidentally wandered into Krystal's room she was just getting out of the shower when fox was awakened by a loud shrill scream. He saw it was Krystal screaming, he also saw that she dropped her towel in her fit of fear. At first fox couldn't move, stunned by the vision he had seen. Then Krys poked Fox and he fell over and was awakened by the fall.

He was greeted by the beautiful yet still naked Krystal. At first he gazed into her tremendously beautiful eyes. Then his eyes travel down a bit and he was slapped. Krystal said "ugh, you pervert UGHH!" she stomped out of the room so angry her blue fur temporarily turned red.

The present…

"I told you I'm sorry 3,000,000 times why wont you forgive me?" "I told you sir you must pay 12 credits to get you hamburger." "But I'm Fox McCloud and im SOOOOO hungry." "Sir I am becoming quite aggravated." Fox punched the cashier of O' Donnell and ran off with the burgers.

Fox arrived back at the Great Fox with the burgers. He offered one to Krystal as he says: "Hey im sorry about last night uhh… I got you a burger." She accepted it and lightly kissed fox on the cheek as a sign of forgiveness. Fox blushed intensely. Krystal giggled as she could sense his blushyness.

"How on Corneria did you afford these?" asked Krystal. Fox replied "umm…uhh…err… I borrowed them." "Sure" said the blue vulpine. Peppy (who has recently went senile) burst into the room and yells "BARBAQUED TITS THAT DO BARREL ROLLS ON A STICK!"

Meanwhile…

Falco has become so bored from the lack of missions he will do almost anything to ease the boredom. Slippy walks by and Falco licks him. He starts to see two of everything, and then he thinks he lost his face on the floor, then he sees a penguin steal it and run away.

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Fox walks down the hall and passes Slippy's room. He hears slip singing the goofy goober song. Then he here's Falco's voice singing the rock version. Fox is on the floor about to shit himself laughing. He see's Krys walking down the hall and signals her to come next to him. She begins laughing so hard she pisses herself not much but a little bit.

Fox gets bored and goes back to the den with Krystal. They turn the television on and there is a commercial for wood. Fox snickers and says: "hey Krys, he's selling his wood at cheap prices." He continues snickering. Krystal who is just now getting the joke burst out laughing.

Meanwhile in Slippy's room…

"You told me if I did this you would help me find my face!" "For the last time your face is still on you! plus you owed me this YOU LICKED ME!!! Ill help you find your face and the penguin if you steal me fox's cookie jar." Fox holds his cookie jar very dear to him, its full of cookie deliciousness. He only shares the cookie with Krystal, who is unaware of the fact. Falco simply leaped out of Slippy's room and did a barrel roll. Landing on his head, then quickly gets up and heads for the kitchen.

"ANDROSS HAS RETURNED AND IS IN PARIMASIS!" yelled ROB in his metallic emotionless voice. "and he has ran off with all of fox's cookies!" fox exclaims: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

the chase is on in the next chapter place title here 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Starfox or anything else… not even my computer.

**THE HUNT!**

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"Krystal, we must go get my cookies, Slippy is too crazy and Falco is stoned out of his mind. I feel as if you the only one I can trust." "ohh, fox, your sweet." "Now then get in your arwing we gotta go get my cookies!"

……………………………later that day…………………………………………………

"Fox we've been searching for hours, can we go home now?" "Ok" they returned to the great fox and found Slippy eating cookies. Not just any cookies but fox's cookies!!!

Fox was outraged he gripped Slippy by the neck and strangled him until he turned blue. Then he threw him into the wall. Krystal successfully restrained him with a soft kiss.

Fox was stunned at the moment. He hadn't expected that.

……………………………………the next morning………………………………………

Falco woke up in terror as he was in bed with peppy. Peppy said "good morning sweet cheeks." then he felt something behind him, IT WAS Slippy! Falco let out a deafening scream "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!1111oneone"

It woke the entire ship up including ROB who was actually turned off! Fox and Krystal got out of bed; they were a mess from the night before.

It seemed both of them slept wrong. They met in the hall after exiting there rooms. Then the walked to the kitchen for breakfast. Peppy randomly comments "back in my day we caught crabs all the time. That's why I was bald the entire high school experience. I once knew a girl who had tits so big you could use them as a bed." He continued to ramble for hours.

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"HOLY BONG OF CHRIST, I just had a flashback of when I watched you parents fuck, fox." Said peppy. "That's nice…" said Krystal. Then Falco burst into the room and yelled "I'm PREGNANT!!!" Mario said "no." Fox began rubbing his temples, "I can't take this anymore!"

The next chapter will be longer, a lil more random and romanticier I promise my faithful readers


	3. fox's pimp'd adventure

Disclaimer: I don't own StarFox but StarFox owns your mom

Fox's pimp'd out adventure

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On the Greatfox loading bay

"Krystal, we gotta get outta here, or I'm gunna go insane!" "Well fox first off where are we going?" "to a resort on corneria, just follow me." "fox what if you get lost, or if we run into some giant potatoes with rockets again?" "Those were… never mind quit being stupid"

Later that day…

"Yes, we would like a room." Said the vulpine with blue fur then the teenage jaguar doesn't respond "umm… ma'am? You there?" the jaguar asks if they have reservations fox replies "there up my ass listen were StarFox lady we don't need no reservations" "I don't care if your 50 scent you aint gettin in without reservations! Don't make me get the rocket potatoes!" "I told you fox" said the blue vulpine it was at this time fox handed her the reservations he hid inside his cookie box.

"Here's you key your room is 134567, on the 1345 floor the elevator is over there.

One hour-long elevator ride later

They walked by a room with the door open, fox decided to look in. what he saw was a horrible sight it was… Peppy, Falco, and Slippy, eating shrooms and chasing the invisible penguin again. Fox sighed and walked to his and Krystal's room then noticed Krystal wasn't there he returned to the other room and saw Krystal smoking crack. That's when fox was assaulted by flying objects from Krystal's purse, objects include: a fox plushy, a turnip, a caterpillar, a cranberry sauce can, a video camera, a cell phone, a vibrator, and a toothbrush. That was when the potatoes arrived and drug the team down to the floor level and threw them out the door. There they lay unconscious till the next morning.

"Ughh… where are we?" "why, were outside the resort!" said peppy then fox said "well, I spent all my money on the reservations and I guess the rest of you spent your money on drugs, am I right?" The rest nodded. Fox sighed "well, we'll have to make some money tonight.

"uhh, fox im not comfortable in this. Are you sure I will make money as a hooker."

"Yes peppy you'll make lots of money as a hooker" fox is in a purple pimp suit with a pimped out hoverfarrari, Krystal is dressed up kinda like Ada from RE4 and Falco, Katt, Slippy, Peppy, and Amanda are all in hooker attire. Fox took Katt and Amanda. While Krystal took the rest. Fox and Krystal dropped their hoes off at their own corners they each are armed with handheld blasters. Fox and Krystal rendezvoused at the club.

The bouncers threw fox out for harassing the bartender, he kept trying to recruit her as a hoe but it wasn't working so he was now lying on the hard pavement of the road. Slam drunk, so was Krystal who was currently staggering out of the bar the both began their way to the car. They entered and both sat in the back seat. The two talked a bit then stopped fox was staring dead into the eyes of his companion. Krystal stared straight back both dizzy and their vision distorted. But they felt a strong feeling overcome the two. May have been the alcohol, it might've even been the real thing neither knew but the feeling was there. Fox leaned in and kissed her, now the two are intensely making out at the same time rubbing each other, Krystal gripped fox's arm and squeezed very hard. Fox put his hand in Krystal's shirt and rubbed her back, reached further and undid her bra. And well you know what happened from there…

The next morning

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Fox awoke in the back of the Ferrari with a naked blue furred vulpine laying on him fox woke her up and they both got dressed and rounded up the hoes then fox says: "why are we still here? We got plenty of money back on the Greatfox." "yeah lets get the hell outta here." Said the pink cat in back

See you next time! Leave comments and ask me plenty of questions and ill answer them in my next chapter.


	4. encounter with starwolf

Disclaimer: I do not own Star fox or Oreo brand Oreos

Disclaimer: I do not own Star fox or Oreo brand Oreos.

Once again we see our heroes… on the couch not doing anything hero-like… Fascinating! Come look for yourself.

"Like pass that dubby Fox." said the already half baked Shaggy. "rah rat rubby." Said the really screwed up Scooby. Then Krystal said "yeah it's puff, puff pass Fox." "yeah, like who taught you how to smoke fox?" asked shaggy. "I dunno, but I got the munchies like a ." Then fox got up and left the smoke filled room.

"Like man fox took off with the stuff, im never smoking with yall guys again."

Later that day…

"DO A BARREL ROLL! Use bombs wisely use the boost to get through don't burn up that arwing your becoming more like your father use the brakes!! It's quite too quiet ." Said the very senile peppy. "are you done?" "yeah I spose' so… fox"

Ominous faintly familiar voices: "cant let you do that starfox; andross has ordered us to take you down; hey peppy long time no see!: stick to the pond froggy."

"Great just who I need to see, star wolf."

Peppy said "use bombs wisely." Then the train guy exclaims "Dang! Deploy it now!"

Out of the Great Fox emerged the magic toaster.

"this baby can withstand temperatures over 9,000 degrees" "what the heck?!" "no this cant be happening" "mmmmmmmm… toast" said fox as he drifted through space heading towards the toast. "ohh brother" said the short amphibian.

"You win this round starfox" said wolf as he and the team flew away from the toast launching toaster

"what was that all about?" asked the confused blue bird.. "I'm not sure…" replied the toad.

Fox continues drifting towards the toast and catches it in his mouth… then spits it out. "this tastes stale."

And that is how our heroes defeated star wolf until next time this is fox970 goodnight.


End file.
